From a young woman whose life was changed: a thank you to the women in New Zealand who showed her dreams do come true
When I was in college, a professor once told me to find my passion and pursue it. In other words, find what makes you feel like your best self and go for it. What he didn’t tell me was that, if done a certain way, you’ll find yourself immersed in another world that might change your life.
I’ve debated for a while about sharing this because, honestly, I try and avoid showing too much emotion in front of people that I don’t know. But for the first time, I’m going to take a chance and write something from deep in my heart, to a group of people that not only let me pursue something I loved but helped me understand why I love it so much. It’s because of the way I felt that it reminded me of a couple key lessons I need but often forget: 1. you don’t have to be perfect to be authentic. Do what you love and love who you’re doing it with; 2. embrace who you are; 3. find the pure joy in life and enjoy it. It’s the 1% that counts; and 4. follow your dreams, because they can come true.
This particular group of people sit in the country of New Zealand and play for Basketball New Zealand’s Women’s Basketball Championship (WBC) and Tall Ferns national team. Mostly natives of the North and South Islands, many of these women play basketball in the United States college system before trying to make a run at a professional career. However, the thing that sets them apart is their rich family heritage and the importance they place on representing their family and their country.
The WBC gives them a perfect platform to do that, play basketball while also keeping their family close. Except the exposure isn’t nearly as big of a stage as those in Australia and Europe. Yet, they opt to play in New Zealand because it’s home. In the words of a player, “we play because we love it, not because people know we’re here.”
I sort of liken it to the quote “dance like no one’s watching.” These women just play to enjoy themselves, not for the validity of others. That’s a powerful lesson we can all learn from.
For the past two and a half weeks I’ve had the pleasure of meeting and watching these remarkably talented women on the hardwood in Auckland, Christchurch and Dunedin. Now four stadiums, at least 10 games and one WBC tournament (plus a power outage) later, I’ve come out with a greater understanding of how their league operates and how the players want to help make a push to expand its presence. Living life traveling to games and watching these players leave it all on the court before seeing their families right after, is one of the coolest feelings. The homey feel gives it a special touch that can’t be replicated anywhere else.
As most people know, my goal is to work with the WBC and its players, to help expand their brands in hopes of telling their stories on a greater level so they can receive better recognition and potentially better pay. Why I want to work with them boils down to their unique stories and perspectives on life.
This trip was full of once-in-a-lifetime experiences that included having conversations with some marquee players and general managers, as well as working the WBC awards banquet. And this came while I was curating content for a new WBC blog account Instagram page that I hope to continue to grow.
But it wasn’t just gaining knowledge about basketball or the team organizational structures that I benefited from. It was, for the first time in months since I was in college, that I was able to reflect on how far I’ve come as a young professional and as an individual. And it was in watching these players, many of whom have faced numerous adversities in their own journeys, were sources of strength for me. The thing was, these sources of strength were those of which I never knew I needed.
For those who know me, understanding this is a big deal because I’m a person that has been working on a number of things that include overcoming obstacles, both physically and mentally, along with the inevitable stress that comes with feeling like she was living in a shadow for most of her life. I can’t really explain it other than I’ve always felt way out of place. Even in college I felt like I was trying to defy expectations set by predecessors. I was always trying to keep a certain health standard, so it translated to other areas, too. I just wanted something that I could call my own, to push outside the boundaries and create something without having to worry about meeting standards from the previous time. I was able to do that in college, but only to an extent. It still felt as if I was living in a shadow, in a place where personalities would sometimes clash. But in all that I realized that most of these feelings continued to eat at me.
Those jagged pieces are still with me.
In search of a distraction, the WBC and Tall Ferns became my happy place; when I needed a breather, I would turn on an interview or a livestream to soothe my mind. I grew to know each player from afar and has led me into an interest in player brand strategy that I hope to someday do here. Their friendly personalities eased my mind. They just seemed so nice. And some of them were trying to figure out what they were doing, just like I was #relatable.
While limbo-ing in the midst of these feelings, I realized that while they may not need me as a professional, I still needed them, the women who play because they want nothing more than to play for their families (or if you’re the Purcell sisters, with each other). And meeting some of them these past couple weeks really cemented that as a whole set of reflective thoughts kicked into full gear during my trip for the first time in months when I found myself in a quiet place on the South Island.
One minute I was on a high watching basketball and even being a comments commentator for the Breeze vs. Gold Rush game (commentating isn’t my strong suit but loved the experience and would do it again in a heartbeat), looking forward to what was next. But when it got quiet I returned back to my vulnerable self, scared and questioning if I could really do this, or if I was crazy for thinking I could end up on the other side of the world working in one of the toughest world’s industries, as a woman nonetheless.
I like to keep busy, being productive and bettering things around me. It was also because of my feelings that I worked so hard in furthering projects that I loved in hoping that it would push away the unpleasant thoughts that would populate my head. But the inevitable questions stands: what happens when all the work stops and you’re just left alone with your thoughts? Spoiler: all the thoughts that I’d been prolonging came rushing back all at once and hit me like a moving truck at warp speed.
Having all these feelings hit me 7,000 miles from home was a shock and honestly a little scary. But when I looked down at my wrist and the writing of 1%, it reminded me to take a deep breath and think about all the positives in my life, including all the opportunities that the WBC has brought me. I was going to be OK and if the women I looked up to could make it through, so could I.
And it was then that I truly saw that the players may not need my help necessarily; but how I needed them, the women who play because they love it and want nothing more than to play for their families, because it makes me excited. And I’ve come just as far as they have in my own right. They’re proud of themselves, so I should be, too.
Another thing was that when I came to New Zealand, I didn’t know anyone in exception for some contact with certain people over social media. Regardless, they saw me as I came, all knowing that I knew my fair share about them. It was an odd form of validation but earning trust from these players at an early stage really meant a lot to me and gave me hope that some form of trust relationship was in the works. And sensing that I could create something from scratch was encouraging. It was a ray of inner sunshine that I hadn’t experienced before.
To those I talked with, thank you for sharing what you did. It gave me more confidence than you’ll ever know.
It was also during this time that I realized that I’ve spent a lot of time looking in the mirror and only being satisfied with the person I was trying to design, just like the successful females you see on Instagram with perfect features and an Ivy League degree; all instead of seeing who I actually am, still healing from my past experiences and needing to let out my feelings once in a while. I’m always worried that if I stop pushing, I’ll end up quitting for some reason. Hence, I never relax. The whole debacle with this is that instead of being real with myself I was pushing all those thoughts away, delaying my healing in the process.
Here in New Zealand, I finally looked in the mirror and came to terms with that I still have a ways to go. It was a conversation with Tall Fern Penina Davidson, who helped remind me that healing isn’t a linear process and that sometimes you have to check yourself, that I began to have the revelation that I was really just avoiding the hard stuff. Sometimes you have to go through the hurt to get to the next step.
Thank you, Penina, for sparking that confidence in me to reflect on what I see in myself. This alone has helped me along in the process and I feel much better off having talked with someone like you, who has often expressed many of my same emotions, and can relate in some way or another. Some people never get to this process and I’m grateful I was able to, especially with someone similar to me.
Whether it was talking with teammates on the Otago Gold Rush during their post-game meal or over coffee during an interview the next day, I forgot about whatever it was I was doing and was able to relax. Maybe it was just their laid-back demeanors that were strikingly different than I what I’m used to, but I was finally able to de-compress.
Thank you, Gold Rush, for including me in your conversations and making me laugh until I couldn’t breathe. It reminded me of when you love something that much, you don’t worry about what other people think, rather a reminder that you’re doing it for your happiness.
The takeaway: when you’re in a place that you’re comfortable while doing what you love, there’s no pressure. Sometimes I still felt the stress in college even when doing what I was passionate because there’s a tendency to put an emphasis on being “the best.” I let that eat at me, too. But being here brought back the excitement of what I want to be doing in sports. The joy has been restored!
So, as I sit here with my cup from Majestic Tea Bar, one of my favorite places in Takapuna, Auckland, I write these words of heartfelt thanks to everyone I have met and became friends with in this beautiful country. This is the first time that I’ve felt so at home in a place I knew little about, in a long time. And to be surrounded by such strong and kind people has only made me better. That was an invaluable experience in itself.
Brittany and Zoe Richards: two rays of sunshine. Thank you for letting me tell your story and bonding over college with me. The best Friday night I ever spent was watching Harbour vs. Canterbury in the stands, sandwiched between you two watching and analyzing the game. Love you guys and your ability to make me feel at ease. Can’t wait to see you play in Alaska and Florida.
The Otago Gold Rush team: thank you for making me feel as if I was part of your team; a post-match dinner and same table seating at the WBC banquet was pretty awesome. Heaps of hugs for all of you and I’ll see you soon. If any of you need anything, I’m always here for you.
Penina Davidson: I’ll keep this short because I’ve already shared most of this with you but you’re really like the queen of Auckland and a vital part of New Zealand women’s basketball. Thank you for making me feel at home even though you were busy with trainings and for everything else (you already know). Also, thank you for gifting me one of your Tall Ferns jerseys. It will always be one of my greatest treasures; that and your kindness are things I can’t replace and will keep close to my heart.
General Managers Justin Ludlow and Bevan Murray: I am beyond appreciative of your generosity and willingness to help me learn more about the WBC and the New Zealand basketball community. I’m excited to continue working together in the future as we work to make it better for its players and staff that share the same passion we do.
Harbour Breeze team: although I didn’t get to meet many of you, it has been a joy watching you from across the world. To Ella, Yume, Chelsea, Deena, Tayla, Emme, Tera, Matangiroa “Pep”, Keeley, Waiaria, Ashleigh, Noni, Penina, and Jody: I’ve loved following your team on the shore. There’s a lot of talent at Harbour and the connection you all have with each other shows. Breeze for life!
Auckland Dream: Congrats on the title! I’m constantly inspired by your all’s work ethic and push to get to a higher level. Another team I find so much joy in watching you all have fun and embrace the family dynamic that comes with everything. Big Dream girl here.
In closing, I’ve been surrounded by some of the most incredible people that also happen to be some of the nicest humans while also being super talented. This trip I was really living my best life, in part because I was doing what I loved in soaking up all opportunities that were given to me by Basketball New Zealand and solidifying that my passion does lie with the WBC, but also because of the special ability that these players had to help me realize that I need to embrace my raw, authentic self. I’m in a better place really understanding that being emotional doesn’t make you weak.
Thank you x10000. For letting me see the world through your eyes. For opening your doors to me, a wide-eyed American girl, who wanted to connect with you. For showing me your culture. For teaching me your game of basketball and how to better understand what you do. For making me smile and for reminding me that this is where I want to be, working with people like you. For exemplifying what it means to be a strong, compassionate human being. For showing me that being authentically me can be painful but is an important part of the path. For giving me the best two weeks of my life. For restoring the joy in what I do. For showing me dreams can come true. And last but not least, for making New Zealand feel like home.
The song “Rock with you” by Michael Jackson played at the end of every Breeze game at AUT. I think the title echos my promise perfectly, “I’ll rock with you.”
Can’t wait to come back super soon and do it all again. We’re in this together and I’m gonna rock with y’all till the end.
Love,
Linden (@nz_nbl_girl)
Oh, and my professor was right: find what you love and you’ll be living your best life (most of the time).
